I am a recovering addict and alcoholic. I have been clean and sober since 1989. Yep. There I said it! I was young when I walked in. Actually, I crawled in. I was a mess mentally, physically and emotionally. It was a fast and furious path of destruction. A few of the people I was out there with have since died. Many more were not able to sustain their recovery. But at the age of 19, I was sitting in the directors office of one of the best treatment centers in Minneapolis, Minnesota being kicked out for smoking crack. My poor family was notified that I had left in the middle of the night after 3 weeks into the program. With traces of track marks still visible on my arms, I had snuck out to go "party". Ironic that is what we called it. It never felt like a party. When I was being told that this was the end of the line, that there were no more chances... a tiny miracle happened. The starkness of clarity in the wee hours of the morning. The spark of hope that hits like lightening -"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE".
And that was it! I have not looked back. For me, recovery started with AA and through that process I found Yoga and Meditation. Drugs and alcohol were not the only addiction I have had to face. But from that starting point of the 12 Steps, I continue to address the Karmic layers of darkness. Whether its drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, sex, food, shopping....its all the same in the end - they are all distractions from living into myself. From living from the heart.
It wasn't easy at first but I had a lot of support. From my entire family. Not everyone has that. And not everyone goes to these extreme places in their addictions. But I believe I did, in part, so I would understand you. The addict. The one who sometimes silently and sometimes egregiously suffers. The one whose turbulence affects all those around you.
I have never been that public about my recovery but I feel that calling now to share what I have been through the tools I have needed to move on.
Recovery is the daily work of living from the heart space. The only true healing pathway for any addict is through the vibration of love. That, friends, comes from daily work and in part I have found that from the structure of yoga. The container for the heart. If you are interested in learning more, reach out to me at Midwifela@gmail.com. I extend a hand out in service to you my friends.